This angle shows the steps back up into the foyer. It also shows, on the right, where there is a small hair-washing sink (the funny ones with the smooth contours that rest your neck while your stylist washes your hair and massages your scalp and loins (always inquire about the happy ending)). This is important because it means I can build a bar with a sink in it: a wet bar. All I need is a dorm fridge down there, a TV, and all my musical instruments, and I will never emerge. Seriously. I'll never come out of the basement. I wouldn't even need to leave for work, because adjoining it is the . . .

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