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‘Tis bettet to give than receive, says Scott Meyer:

Highlarious.

Andrew Sullivan’s filler-in-ers have been posting links to “depressing Christmas songs,” and of course how can you do that without Tom Waits?

So the other day I was poking around Amazon, looking for Christmas presents for my peeps and bopeeps, and came across Adam Lambert’s new album, which I would never buy. The album cover made me giggle, so I sent a link to my boy Brian:

(I believe the comment I made was, “In a related story, Adam Lambert is gay.” This was in bad taste, not least because I know a lot of gay men, and not one of them dresses like a chorus member from Xanadu The Musical.)

Brian, who is deft with The Photoshop, immediately produced this, which might be the greatest thing since the domestication of the pig:

I may actually end up having to record a bunch of Adam Lambert covers so I can release an album with this cover.

You like number games? Sudoku? Ken-Ken? Then take Numbrix to the house. You’ll be glad you did! Also you’ll be ensmarten’d.

Argh. In my post from Friday, I linked to an article at Delaware Online that I believed was recent, and it turns out to be from several years ago. The bed and breakfast mentioned there-in is actually up the street from me, and my father told me that it went out of business several years ago. A big thanks to the News Journal and DelawareOnline.com, which instead of actually dating each article, just print today’s date at the top, so you have no way of knowing if the article is from yesterday or from 1997. (Add this to the reasons that I don’t bother getting the News Journal delivered to my home.)

Here’s a nice story about the emerging awesomeness of my new ‘hood:

A growing group of residents and business owners – new and old – wants to uncover Claymont’s built-in beauty, revive its flagging spirit and improve its sagging property values.

The goal is daunting, but the coalition has not recoiled from the fact that its community needs a lot of work – inside and out.

“If you can’t handle honesty, you can’t live in Claymont,” said Ellie Kwick, who has lived there all of her 63 years.

It’s the most craziest tiiiiiiime of the yeeeeeear! Also: It’s gettin’, it’s gettin’, it’s gettin’ kinda hectic. We’re trying to take the kids to as much cool holiday stuff as possible, so Saturday we dragged both urchins and both of Sarah’s parents to the Auburn Heights Preserve, which I honestly had never even heard of despite living in Delaware for 30 years. They have 1/8-scale steam-powered trains to sit on and ride around (they are not what I would describe as “Pullman-car comfortable,” but still fun), and what is probably the largest collection of steam-powered Stanley automobiles around. Did I take pictures? You bet your sweet patoot.

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was fraught with obesity! I ate so much that I did not have to eat again for roughly 14 hours. (Given that I’m usually rustling through the pantry every 30 minutes, that’s a major accomplishment.) Note that I said I didn’t have to. That didn’t stop me from doing so: there was pie, you see. I had four pieces!

In the interests of goodness and kindness in this holiday season, I want to share with you a blogpost that every American should have to read. It is entitled: People Who Back Into Parking Spaces Can Kiss My Ass. And every word of it is true. Please retweet, or whatever.

I’ve had my copy of John Mayer’s new album, “Battle Studies,” for a week now, so I thought I’d share my thoughts. First, a little disclosure: I love John Mayer, and would probably be willing to modify my personal anatomy if he asked me to be the bearer of his golden children. Also, I’m not a professional critic, I just like music. Anyway, my thoughts:

• First hearing: it sounds like John had been listening to a bunch of music, and occasionally said “Wow, that’s a great song, I want to write a song like that.” The first track, “Heartbreak Warfare,” is so similar to U2’s “Where The Streets Have No Name” that it’s hard to decide if it’s an homage or just a ripoff. I can only assume he wrote “Half Of My Heart” and “War Of My Life” immediately after multiple listenings of Jackson Browne’s album, “Alive” (a wildly spectacular CD, by the way). “Who Says” is…well, frankly it sounds just like “Stop This Train” from John’s last album, “Continuum.” “Crossroads” is a cover of the standard Cream song, and is remarkably original given that the band plays all the same notes as Eric, Bruce, and Ginger. Then you find something like “Assassin,” which is a fantastic rock song that I almost wish was sung by someone with an edgier voice. “Edge of Desire,” “All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye,” and “Perfectly Lonely” are standard Mayer fare; soft guitars, gentle lyrics, sweet melodies. “Edge” stands out for its long musical exploration, almost evoking 19th-century-style symphonic development. (Was that a sufficiently douchey, pretentious comment to make this a proper music critique? Good.)

  
  In all, the first hearing rather left me cold. This should have warned me, since I’m pretty sure his “Continuum” and “Heavier Things” albums did exactly the same thing.



• Second hearing: Hmmm. These are good songs.


• Third hearing: OMG LULZ “Half Of My Heart” is the BEST SONG EVA WTF!!1!1!1!? It’s a pleasant “duet” with Taylor Swift, who continues to be the best thing happening in country music. I put duet in quotes because really she just serves as a backup singer, delivering a few solo lines to echo John late in the song. Possibly the best lyrics on the CD:
  

  Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring

  
  It seems kinda silly out of context, but trust me it is SO GOOD. I believe it’s going to be the second single, so if you were disappointed by “Who Says” (which is a decent song, but probably the 6th best one on the album), keep an ear out for it.

John Mayer consistently releases albums that kind of irk me at first listen, and then grow on me quicker than mold in your mom’s basement¹. I take this to mean one of two things. Either

1. John Mayer is consistently expanding his musical sensibilities, getting better with very album.


2. I love him so much that he could release a spoken word album of Muppets quotes and I’d post a glowing review.

I’m not ruling out either one.

Footnotes:

1 (She lives in filth, dude. Seriously, stage an intervention.)

Saturday night, I managed to make it to the fall Ychromes concert. The show was pretty damned fine; good arrangements, fantastic soloists, and a few nice touches. I’m still hoping to see the 2nd act video turn up on Youtube, because it was so funny I peed in my pants just a little bit. They also did a really fantastic tribute to Colin Hines, alumnus #54, who sadly passed away last week of complications from leukemia. (I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Cancer, you are a serious douche. Please stop killing people.) And in the 4 days between Colin’s passing and the concert, some of our smarter members managed to pull together the Colin Hines Memorial Scholarship Fund, and raised $3000 to be split between the Chromes, and Leukemia research. It was a pretty memorable evening.

Did I take pictures? Of course I did.

I even managed to spend some time at Klondike Kate’s without drinking anything (a remarkable feat, given the booze that was flowing freely), since the local constabulary had been kind enough to set up a DUI checkpoint 15 feet from the parking lot where my car resided. A fantastic evening.

Oh: best shirt ever.