Spammers are getting tricky, I tell you! It wasn’t enough to send us emails from people who could TOTALLY be folks I know, like “Reginald M. Jabberwocky” and “Anthouse Maltextract, III”, and putting in totally enticing subject headers like “u r smal? get girth fastly!” Now they’re appealing to everyone with a guilt complex. Today I received the following email subject, from a kind lady named Emilia Rudolph:
Why are you not replying?
I felt ashamed. All she wanted was for me to write back and console her tender heart. Perhaps she had been the victim of some kind of malfeasance, like a Nigerian spam scam, and just needed someone to whom she could pour her soul. So, I opened the mail1:
Hello! I am bored tonight. I am nice girl that would like to chat with you. Email me
at Louise@BestGolova.com only, because I am using my friend’s email to write this.
Would you mind if I share some of my pictures with you?
Well, this sounded like an opportunity! If there’s anything in this world I love, it’s nice girls willing to share their photography portfolios with me. Perhaps she had some nice architectural shots, or even some nice still-lifes! So I began writing my reply:
Hi Louise! Superb to hear from you. What sort of pictures do you have? I’d love to see them! I work mostly in a digital format, because my amateur eye isn’t capable yet of spotting the really quality shots until it’s often too late. My DSLR makes it so easy to just hold the button down and wait for the beauty to happen! Write back soon!
But, just before I hit “send,” I thought to myself: hm. Using her friend’s email? That seems a tad…shady. Perhaps I am setting myself up to be a victim of malfeasance, or VOM! That would be unacceptable. I do have a family to think of, after all. Damn you, Emilia/Louise, and your tantalizing offers of photography discourse! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
On a completely unrelated note, what the heck, Weather? Isn’t today an Equinox, aka One of Two Of The Mediumest-length Days Of The Year? Make with the springtime, Mother Earth! It’s like 45 degrees outside, and windy as all get-out! Unacceptable. Looking at the 10 Day Forecast for New Castle, it looks like we’re barely even getting out of the 50s by April. I can’t speak for anybody but myself (and possibly my cats, who defer to me as I am the Supreme Lord and Governor of Hearn House and they are my subjects), but after the tepid, nearly snow-free winter we’ve had, I’m ready for some warm weather, shorts, and slightly translucent beach shirts. (I like to make sure as many people as possible are aware of the tragedy that is my nude torso.) In short: it’s cold, and quit it. The end.
Oh, and happy End of Lent, for those of you who celebrate such things. I’ll be at church tonight and most of the weekend, doing my utmost to stave off damnation. Hope you manage the same!
Footnote 1: I open all my mail in a PHP web browser, not some stupid product like Outlook, so I’m not terribly concerned about viruses and malware and all that good stuff. Worry not: I know what I am doing.
Two words:
“Fairy Princess”
… it’s all you really need…
Stave it off, 1-2-3, and now you can count to 3!
You were right to suspect that message. I receive copies of it on a regular basis. The site appears to be registered in China (whois.paycenter.com.cn) and located in Turkey.
I’ve tried sending some “test” replies, but only get a “Delivery to the following recipients failed.”
Poor, poor, sweet Louise. What did she ever do except reach out and ask to be loved?!
You should be ashamed of yourself sir. I shake my finger pointedly in your direction.
Now then, I know this guy who has some money that he needs to transfer into an American account….