I’m still sick, and it’s starting to become a Nuisance. For example, I have to sing in a Messiah on Sunday, and during last night’s rehearsal I developed what felt like an ear infection. Today it seems better, but I’m all clogged up again.
Is this God’s punishment for that time I wiped a booger on another chorister? Uh…my bad.
More heavenly disdain is being communicated to me by the fact that my /? key is faulty. In order to get it to work I have to push really hard on it; I think there’s a pretzel crumb under there, or a piece of salt, or maybe another chorister’s boogie.
I wonder if I could hook a vacuum to my head to relieve all the pressure. A few months back I bought a 16-gallon 6.5HP Wet/Dry Super Industrial Kickass Vacuum/Leaf Blower; the thing could suck the stain out of an Affleck end table (just like your mom! Ha ha!). I bet I could suck mucus out of my sinuses with it. Maybe I’ll try later.
Speaking of furniture, my lunch today consisted of a 220-calorie bowl of Kraft Easy Mac, which I got from a machine and heated up, and which tasted like wood glue. I think the Diet Coke I had with it was more nutritious. Dieting straight sucks, lemme tell you; I could’ve also run to the Wendy’s down the street and had 4 Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers, a “Biggie” Fries, and a “Biggie” Diet Coke for like $7 and then just gone back to work and had a nap. It would have been fantastic, and I wouldn’t have the raging headache I have.
Yep, it’s bitch bitch bitch bitch, all the time, at matthearn.com! Glad you’re here. Now go forth and sin some more.
I am so feeling yer pain on the mucus sitch. Spent the whole last goddamned week dripping snot out my nose and coughing it up and I want to kill someone (myself). The worst part is the deafness! ARGHH
And you should eat greens. They have negligible calories (essentially zero), are full of fiber and you can eat like six bowls’ worth and they’ll have no effect on your diet, unlike the Kraft Easy Mac or whatever it is. Buy a bag of spinach, douse it with fat-free dressing and eat the whole thing every day. Your body will be happy and you won’t be crabby from always feeling like you’re starving.