In case you’ve visited here over the last few weeks and, instead of seeing my beautiful, beautiful words, saw a message saying that my website had been suspended for overambitious CPU utilization, rest assured that the problem has been isolated and we are in the process of resolving it.
Well, not we, it’s just me. Because it’s my fault, you see. When I arranged for my site to be hosted by my current service, hostmonster.com, I paid for a nearly unlimited amount of bandwidth and disk space, and proceeded to upload scripts and databases and images and hilarious posts about hairstyles for head-fatties and everything was super happy: me, because my website was still online despite my previous hosting service deciding to close up shop; hostmonster, ’cause they gets the dollaz dollaz; and the internet, because let’s be frank, the loss of my website’s content would send shockwaves that might well destroy the economy of Nigeria or perhaps the entire Indian subcontinent. (Which just wouldn’t do. OBVIOUSLY.)
What I didn’t realize was that, while hostmonster certainly was happy to have my business and store all of my crap for me, apparently they don’t much care for me to actually SHOW it to people. Every time a person would look at my website (specifically the picture gallery, about which we’ll hear more directly) it required a computer in Utah to do some processing, or “thinking,” and respond to the user with pictures and words and all that good stuff. Well, supposedly my site, which receives all of maybe 25 hits a day, 5 of which are me checking for new comments (there never are any), and at least 8 of which are googlers trying to find pictures of Dave Chappelle’s Hott AZN Wife, was overloading the CPU of the computer in Utah and causing smoke to come out of its ears, if it has ears, which it probably does not, but who knows what Mormons might do to computers when they get them alone in the Tabernacle.
Long story short: the online gallery had to go, because while the pictures contained therein weren’t getting me anywhere close to my disk space/bandwidth limits, the processing power required to get them out of the database was angering the CPU gods. On the other hand, I was never terribly happy with that gallery software anyway; it seemed to do about 18,000 things, and I basically needed it to do one: display pictures in a pretty format, which it didn’t do very well. So I’m working on my OWN, much tamer, online gallery program, which will basically give you a list of albums to view with pictures located there up ins, in a pretty format that doesn’t distract from the image on the page. Totally boss! As soon as it is ready, I will be certain to alert the media. Until then: go to Charles’s site, since roughly 97% of my photography is centered on him anyway.
Dude. Just get a flickr account. It’s like $25 a year for unlimited everything. To hell with reinventing the picture hosting wheel. Not that you can host pictures with a wheel. You know what I mean.