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Two topics today: Politics (duh-UH), and Phillies baseball (Wha-UH?).

Topic one: looks like the Democrats are taking over the House, and possibly the Senate as well. I, for one, welcome our new Democrat blah blah blah. To be honest, I voted largely Democrat, and largely because I hate the Democratic Party slightly less than I hate the Republican Party. At the moment, anyway. This may be a cynical view, but I couldn’t be more thrilled (well, perhaps if the government shrank to about 1/10 of its current size, that would be more thrilling, but I do recognize reality on some level) to have a government set up to get absolutely nothing done for 2 years.

I find that the government that spends all its time fighting over stupid crap instead of legislating is the government that I like best.

On the other hand, having Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House is singularly terrifying. It’s like having the worst stage mother of all time directing a school play. Hopefully we won’t all go deaf. (She’s a screamer, I’m told.) Also on the other hand: apparently voters in a variety of states saw fit to enact bans on gay marriage. Good job, voters! Nothing like legalized discrimination. Really gets my hopes up that they might reenact Jim Crow.

Topic two: The Phightin’ Phils are apparently looking to land Alfonso Soriano, which is flat-out making me insane. Let’s look at the Phillies basic line-up:

• First base: A guy may well hit 800 home runs before he retires.
• Second base: The only guy who can be counted on to bat over .300 in any given year.
• Third base: A rotating gaggle of defensive “specialists” who seem to bobble the ball when it counts.
• Shortstop: A speedy defensive star who might hit .350 in a given month, and might hit .200. Who knows.
• Outfield: An extremely washed up guy in left who’s probably leaving and a bunch of medium-hitting young guys.

Soriano’s natural position is 2nd base, but he’s been playing outfield for the Nationals all year, so the Phils are hoping to put him in left to replace Burrell, which is a pretty damn good move, except that good ol’ Alfonso nearly got himself suspended because he refused to play left field. Ah! A character guy! Great times. Meanwhile, here’s what the pitching staff looks like:

• Three starters (Wolf, Myers, Lieber) who might combine for 50 wins next season; they might combine for 20. Who knows? It’s worth pointing out that Lieber is 347 years old. There are also 2 other starters, but they suck.
• A bunch of middle relievers, none of whose names I can recall, none of whom seem to be able to hold a close lead. One of them is really tall, though.
• A closer who is, like Lieber, 347 years old, and also like Lieber, a Yankees castoff. Great! The Phils have turned into the Yankees AAAA team, a position that had long been held by the Toronto Blue Jays.

While I admit that, from a fantasy perspective, Soriano is a HUGE player to sign, two things are important to note:

1. The Phillies don’t need that much hitting. They need more CONSISTENT hitting, which I think they’ll start getting as their young players mature. They need pitching, and a lot of it. One quality closer could be enough, if the starters can stay healthy.
2. Alfonso Soriano is a bit of a dick, and I don’t want him in the clubhouse doing dick things.

All I’m saying, is that I didn’t vote for the man, and you shouldn’t either. Wait, I got confused again. Oh well.