To all of my liberal, semi-hippie friends: I surrender. I concede. I confess. You win.
I don’t often discuss politics in this space, for the simple reason that I disagree with almost everyone, and no one would really bother reading my stuff if all I did was rail about the Drug War, or the Iraq War. I’m more interested in discussing human interest stuff like the Pee War, which is a game my son likes to play during bath time in which he pees all over the kitchen (we wash him in the kitchen sink) and we attempt to block the urine stream with our hands. This is Fatherhood in a nutshell: getting pee all over your body in an effort to prevent said pee from getting in the toaster.
Nevertheless, those who know me well know that for a long time I have espoused fairly libertarian views. My thoughts have long been, well, if it doesn’t hurt anybody, who cares? What I hadn’t considered, unfortunately, was how completely incapable the average American is of knowing when he might be hurting someone else.
Until recently, I believed that if you want to talk on your cellphone while driving, and you don’t drive into anyone, you should be allowed to do that. Personally, I try to avoid it, but then I talk on the phone as little as possible anyway. I have changed my mind on this subject, because I realize now that the the majority of Americans are simply too flat-out stupid to be allowed this privilege. I was caught behind a guy on the way to work today who:
- Pulled out in front of me, causing me to have to decelerate to avoid hitting him.
- Drove significantly under the speed limit.
- When the next light turned yellow, he, despite being about a 1/2 second away from it, actually braked as if he was going to stop, causing at least 2 people behind me to miss the light.
- Didn’t use his signal once to indicate any lane change or turn.
He had his cellphone to his ear the entire time. I’m not sure if the cellphone CAUSED him to drive like an idiot, or if it’s just an indicator of his general stupidity. What I do know is this: of the various idiots that ride in the left lane when they aren’t passing, fail to signal lane changes and turns, and cut me off in traffic, at least 85% of them are on the phone at the time. Of course, 85% of drivers are usually on the phone at any given time, so this might be statistically pointless, but it still makes me want to beat them to death with my bare damn hands.
So yes: I will probably vote Democrat in the next election because a jerk cut me off in traffic. I am one fickle bastard.
