matthearn.com

A surprising fact that you may not realize is that I graduated from high school in 1996. Sure, I act like a 4-year-old, but I am in fact 28 years old. We celebrated these facts on Saturday at a 10-year reunion at Costa’s, a Greek place in Wilmington.

Now, I’m not much of a drinker (cough, cough), but to be on the safe side we dropped our little boy off at Sarah’s parents and rented a hotel room near the restaurant for the evening. So we checked in with some friends at about 5pm and hung out, watched a little football, and walked over to the bar at around 7:45 (trying to be fashionably late, and all).

We were, of course, among the first people there. Well played, Trebek. I rented a Heineken from the bar and began the chatting. There’s no need to come up with a complete replay, but here are the highlights:

• Hearing TJ joke about the time that he caught his jacket on fire in chem lab on a Bunsen burner being operated by me and Josh. In 1993, it was not funny, as TJ seemed likely to kill us. 13 years later, it was life-threatening funny, as we had been drinking.
• A nice gentleman whose name I won’t reveal here, let’s call him “Kansas,” passed out in the men’s bathroom covered in excrement (whether it was his own or he had somehow acquired someone else’s was unclear). He later reappeared and got in a cab, but not before Brian touched him. I will never shake Brian’s hand again, and I recommend none of you do either.
• My wife decided that, as the party wound down, we should go to Mikimoto’s. She doesn’t like sushi. HW is remarkably unpredictable after between 2 and 7 cocktails. As it turned out, they were closed anyway, so we went to the Washington Street Alehouse and rented some more beer and met some more friends.

The next morning was tragic and painful, but we applied emergency McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches and felt much better. And that was about that. Not much of a story, really. Possibly because I don’t remember much.