Commercials that weird me out
Number 1: The Charmin commercials with the large brown bears who are greatly concerned about whether or not the TP will leave what appears to be dandruff on their butts. I appreciate them using anthropomorphic bears so that we can pretend it’s all cute and that they aren’t talking about, essentially, dingleberries, but I’m still greatly grossed out by it. I don’t know about you, but the bogroll at our house doesn’t leave any kind of detritus behind, possibly because my wife buys single-ply in bulk from some kind of Russian mob outfit and it’s like wiping with burlap, except that burlap might be preferable because my fingers wouldn’t go straight through it.
I’m just tired of my fingers smelling like shrimp, I guess.
Number 2: The car commercial, I think it’s for a Buick, in which a family celebrates a new car for Christmas, complete with big red bow atop, and then another car drives by and the husband (who ostensibly made the purchase) realizes he made a big mistake and should have bought the other car. As in, “I know we just got a brand-ass new automobile, but I can’t be happy because the one that just drove down the street is so much NICER.” I’m no anti-materialist, but every time this commercial comes on, I think of a family of four living in a 1983 Ford Econoline.
It’s also worth noting that a dude I know bought his wife a Lexus for Christmas once, just like in the commercials, and the Lexus people would not give him a big red bow to put on it. FALSE ADVERTISING.
Number 3: The Target commercials, which are thankfully pretty much done now that Black Friday is past, featuring the crazy lady preparing for huge sales and cackling like a maniac. She doesn’t appear to have enough skin for her head.
(The actress in question is actually Maria Bamford, a funny comedienne, but for her participation in these commercials she’s earned a lifetime sentence as an elf in a David Sedaris story.)
What weirds y’all out? Other than Chuck Testa, of course.
