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This wedding party is going to get medieval on ye. (AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com)

Here are some things I love about this picture:

• Mixed in with the D&D drips are a couple of guys in suits and ties who actually look out of place.


• Is there a woman in this picture weighing in under about two-fitty? The redhead in the back, maybe. Also, is the bride pregnant? She might just be fat, but she’s got her right hand in the standard I’m-pregnant-and-don’t-nobody-forget-it pose, as if she’s saying “The doctor said I was too fat to get pregnant! Screw you, doctor-man!”


• There is a man in the picture wearing a matching cyan shirt and puffy hat, and he’s still not the gayest man there; that title goes to the fellow in the tux with the sparkly vest, who I believe to be the father-of-the-fatty, and who needs to have a heart-to-heart talk with his wife, now that the kids are out of the house.


• What sort of church would allow this, knowing that this sort of thing makes Baby Jesus cry?