matthearn.com

Hey look, the Phillies are up 3-1 in the World Series. I must have blacked out for a few weeks. Is it good opportunity to drink liveblog the action? Yes. Yes it is.

• 8:53 pm – We’re coming to you late, at the top of the 2nd, because I didn’t think of starting a liveblog until just now. And despite the STRIKE on the word “drink” above, I am going to spend most of the evening tossing back Pink Gins to keep my nerves under control. Alcohol and night baseball: it’s a winning combination!
• 8:55 pm – If you’re just joining us, Cole Hamels got through 3 quick outs in the top of the first, and the Phils scored 2 on a bunch of hits and walks (I wasn’t counting, sadly; what am I, ESPN?). And Cole just got two more quick outs. This is shaping up Nice.
• 9:00 pm – Because Joe Suck and Tim McMoron may be the worst commentary team in the history of professional sports (more on this later), I’ve got a radio set up tuned to 1210AM so I can listen to Scott, Larry, and Harry. I highly recommend, if you happen to be in the North DE/Southeast PA area, you do the same.
• 9:02 pm – My wife might be mad later. The DVR was supposed to record Heroes, but Dancing With Stars is also on, and my DVR can only see 2 things at once. Obviously I’m not changing the tuner showing the game. So I made an executive decision: she watches Dancing With Washed Up Stars every other day, it seems, but we haven’t watched any Heroes episodes yet this season. Easy choice.
• 9:04 pm – Coincidentally, Larry Anderson is talking about going on Dancing With The Stars. I would pay cash money to see this.
• 9:06 pm – Jayson Werth needs a nickname to justify his ridiculous facial and head hair. Since he looks like he could be a pornstar, I’m going with “Furburger.” Jayson “Furburger” Werth. Win, right?
• 9:07 pm – Bottom 2nd, 2 out, and the aforementioned Furburger singles.
• 9:10 pm – Dang. The rain is coming hard; I’m about 25 miles south of CBP, hopefully it’ll take a few hours to get really nasty at the game. I’m not holding my breath. And of course, tomorrow I have a recording session and won’t be home until close to 11.
• 9:12 pm – Nice, Harry’s back on. He’s a good luck charm, like a Leprechaun or midget.
• 9:16 pm – Cole is looking kinda en fuego. He’s only struck out 2 guys in 7 outs so far, but he looks like he’s just daring them to swing. And then they do, and ground weakly to short, or pop out, or just whiff at the change.
• 9:17 pm – And of course the instant I press “submit,” he gives up a base hit. Luckily he then immediately induces the next guy to ground out to second, so I repeat: EN FUEGO.
• 9:18 pm – Political side note: somebody at the McCain campaign has big freaking brass testicles to be running ads saying Obama represents big government. Did they miss the last 8 years? The government is currently bigger than yo mama! And she so fat SHE ATE THE IRS.
• 9:20 pm – Onto my second Pink Gin. What’s a Pink Gin? I’m glad you asked! Dash of bitters, then a bunch of gin. It ends up sort of a brownish red, and is mega spicy. Highly recommended.
• 9:22 pm – Milo asked an important question: can they call a WS game after 5 innings?
• 9:23 pm – Eek…Scott Kazmir seems to be getting a little en fuego as well. This is displeasing, since I fear the middle of the Rays lineup is due.
• 9:29 pm – EEEEEEK. Deep double off the wall by Pena, followed by an RBI single by Longoria that just scooted by Jimmy. 2-1 Phils.
• 9:31 pm – Whew. Double play to end the inning. Aight, good guys, let’s put some guys on and get ’em home.
• 9:33 pm – It’s heartening to hear AIGDirect.com commercials on the radio, since that’s my beleaguered employer and all. It’d be nice to be, um, not laid off.
• 9:35 pm – If, and this is a BIG IF, my favorite team were to someday in the staggeringly near future win a World Series, I am concerned that I would then spend several hundred dollars on Paraphernalia. For example, I really want a World Series hat with earflaps. I would wear that all winter long. And one of those warmup jackets would be nice; preferably the one that Jamie Moyer is currently wearing.
• 9:37 pm – Dang. Ruiz gets a nice base hit, and then Hamels gets him out on fielder’s choice, and along the way got hit on the pitching knuckles. (It also hit the bat, sadly, so it was a foul ball, not an HBP.) So to recap, 2 outs, pitcher’s at 2nd, and his pitching hand hurts.
• 9:40 pm – The rain at CBP seems to be really coming down. Luckily, the decision to halt play is up to Commissioner Bud Selig, I think, and Lord knows he won’t do anything until Fox tells him to, regardless of danger to players or fans. So play will continue.
• 9:43 pm – Why the hell didn’t I play baseball in my youth? I would have been a spectacular pitcher. Left-handed, strong as an ox, reasonably tall, and dumber than Tim McCarver. I’d be Ryan Madson! Dang non-athletic musician parents all not forcing me to play sports and screaming at me for my inadequacies.
• 9:45 pm – Cole Hamels has been running on 3-2, 2 out counts for the past two batters. He’s sprinted off the base like 8 times now, since Furburger keeps fouling off breaking balls. And now Fur gets the walk; let’s see if Utley can do something. Some coach I don’t recognize is out to dry up Kazmir’s tears and bring him a change of panties.
• 9:50 pm – Dang. Bases loaded, Chase grounds the 3-2 pitch straight to the shifted 2nd baseman. On the plus side, the Phils are still a lock for “WS winner with worst RISP average.”
• 9:53 pm – Oh good, Jimmy loses a popup in the rain and Baldelli gets to first base for free. STOP MAKING THIS INTERESTING, DAMMIT!
• 9:56 pm – And Chase “Messiah” Utley gets an awkward double play to clear the bases! 2 outs! And the rain is getting really, really messy. And a quick K ends the inning.
• 10:00 pm – Rain is gross, and getting grosser. And it’s what, 45 degrees? Holy hell, it must be MISERABLE at the game. This, to my mind, is proof that there is a God: He’s saying “You can have your championship, Philadelphia. Maybe. But you’re going to suffer for it. Oh yes, but you will suffer.”
• 10:07 pm – My bad; it’s actually 40 degrees. Ouch. Howard and Burrell both walked, with no outs in the 5th, so they’ve yanked Kazmir. Here’s how this should play out: the Phils have a huge inning and go up like 7-1, at which point the rain gets crazy and everybody agrees it might be a good idea to just call the game at this point. Which is when I freak out.
• 10:12 pm – The great thing about listening to the radio and muting the TV, is that during the long break to try and dry out the infield, they showed Buck and McDumbass chatting, and since I can’t hear them, I can make up dialog:

  Joe Buck – So hopefully we’ll be able to get this game in.
  Tim McCarver – Yes, because if you don’t play 9 innings, it’s not a complete baseball game.
  Buck – Ummm…yes.
  McC – Also, they should do all they can to keep the mound dry, because if it’s not dry, it’s rather wet.
  Buck – You might be retarded.
  McC – How come we don’t hang out? You should come over for BBQ! I make my own sauce!
  Buck – Really? What’s in it?
  McC – Joe Maddon’s sex juice.
  [crickets]

• 10:17 pm – After the pitching change, now the radio is like 5 seconds ahead of the TV, which is REALLY ANNOYING.
• 10:19 pm – Really? Again? 2 guys on base with no outs, and nobody scores? This is unbelievable. Excepting last night, the Phils are batting .002 with runners in scoring position.
  (Important note: I made that statistic up. But it’s not off by much, I’ll wager.)
• 10:24 pm – Third Pink Gin. Chris Wheeler Scott Franzke reports that a WS-clinching game has never been shortened by rain.
• 10:27 pm – Quick shot of Shane Victorino in center field with his hand in his pants. I guess he wanted to keep it warm, and wasn’t taking a mid-inning sex juice break.
• 10:30 pm – Hamels is making quick work of the top of the 6th; Ks Iwamura, and then Crawford grounds out to first. Keep it goin’, Cole.
• 10:31 pm – Dang, Upton dinks a 2-2 pitch to Rollins, who can’t get a handle on the wet ball. Upton at first for Pena, who is hitting altogether too well lately. And Upton has the look of a man who is going to try and steal 3rd from 1st on one pitch.
• 10:39 pm – This is regoddamndiculous. They didn’t call it for rain, and now the Rays have tied it up. So now what the hell happens? It’s now the middle of the 6th with a tie game! I predict they’ll stop play with a tie game after 6, and pick it up tomorrow, either here or in Tampa. Either way, it’s stupid. They had an official game after 5 innings and let the field turn into a swamp.
• 10:42 pm – Oh great, they’ve decided to delay the game. Which is a great idea, since the rain isn’t going to stop until 3am. It’ll be superb waking up tomorrow to find out if the Phils won. “Hey Daddy,” Charles will say to me in 2019, “did you see the Phillies win their last World Series before the team moved to Halifax, NS?” “No, son, the commissioner was a dumbass and decided to finish the game at 3am. So I was asleep.”
• 10:47 pm – Argh. They’re sending us to “local programming” while they try and wait out the rain. I’m going to to do the same; I intend to stay up as long as I possibly can, but no promises.
• 11:42 pm – Okay, they’ve suspended the game until at least tomorrow at 8pm (by which time I expect it to be snowing). Which is great, since I have a recording session scheduled until 10. Did I say that already? I AM PISSED TO THE POINT OF PERSONAL CONFLAGRATION. So I’m going to suspend the blogging until then as well. Hopefully I’ll be around tomorrow night when the Phrozen Phils win this one. If not, I’ll post something rude and angry about having missed it. See you then!

Another cool forwarded gimmick! Try it out.

RULES:

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

My answers:

• IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Clubs
• WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Drinking Tips
• WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Breast Feeding
• HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Video Killed The Radio Star
• WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? The Boxer
• WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? You Are Goodbye
• WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Cecilia
• WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Last Christmas
• WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? When The Wheels Are Coming Off
• WHAT IS 2+2? Comfortable
• WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Sunrise
• WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Stay
• WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Piragua
• WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? She Talks To Angels
• WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? There Is No Rose
• WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? I’m Gonna Find Another You
• WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Famous In A Small Town
• WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Magic and Smoking
• WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Tears in Heaven
• WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Psalm 69
• WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Long Time Gone
• WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Do You Suppose I’d Come Running
• HOW WILL YOU DIE? The Heart Of Life
• WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET? Environmental Terrorism or Global Warming?
• WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? The Sussex Carol
• WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? Beautiful Soul
• WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? The End Of The Innocence
• WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? Don’t Stand So Close To Me
• DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? When You’re Home
• IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? Lulla, Lullay, Thou Little Tiny Child
• WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? I Would Die 4 U
• WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? Odd Look

Let’s bring the mood back up a tad, what say? My homey Sarah B sent me a nifty email quiz, and it’s been a while since I’ve done one. The theme of this one is that you only get one word to answer each question. This makes it hard to bring the funny, but I invite my readers (both of you) to comment with your guesses as to my meanings.

1. Where is your cell phone? Hands
2. Your significant other? HW
3. Your hair? Lustrous
4. Your mother? Responsible
5. Your father? Quirky
6. Your favorite thing? Bacon
7. Your dream last night? Digits
8. Your favorite drink? Beer
9. Your dream/goal? Novel
10. The room you’re in? Cubicle
11. Your fear? Bankruptcy
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Retired
13. Where were you last night? Rehearsal
14. What you’re not? Slender
15. Muffins? Blueberry
16. One of your wish list items? Knife
17. Where you grew up? Wilmington
18. The last thing you did? Amazon
19. What are you wearing? Casual
20. Your TV? Small
21. Your pet? Cats
22. Your computer? MacBook
23. Your life? Eventful
24. Your mood? Apprehensive
25. Missing someone? JD
26. Your car? Elderly
27. Something you’re not wearing? Thong
28. Favorite Store? Target
29. Your summer? Busy
30. Your favorite color? Blue
31. When is the last time you laughed? Meeting
32. Last time you cried? Tuesday
33. Who will/would re-post this? Brian
34. FOUR PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER: Work, Home, Church, In-Laws’
35. FOUR PEOPLE WHO E-MAIL ME: Brian, Liz, Dad, Sarah
36. FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS: Cow, Chicken, Pig, Fish
37. FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW: Home, Beach, Woods, Restaurant
38. FOUR PEOPLE I THINK WILL RESPOND: Brian, Doob, Liz, Michael
39. FOUR PEOPLE I HOPE RESPOND: McCain, Obama, Palin, Biden

For the last response, I suspended my use of proper titles to make it fit the rules. ‘Cause when you break the rules, THE RULES BREAK YOU.

So HW came home from the grocery store this afternoon, with food, dry goods, and feminine items galore. The latter, oddly enough, appeared to have been purchased third-hand from an offshore supply of East German products.

“Dude, where did you buy those tampons,” I asked. “Communism?”

“Whaddaya mean?” she replied.

“I’m willing to cheap out dollar-store-style on certain things; gift-wrap, Christmas decorations, et cetera. But things that get inserted into my orifices? You know, I shell out the cash for the premium-grade.”

“I used to be that way, but…” she trailed off, and it was clear she had sacrificed her hoohah on the altar of cheapiedom.

Here is a short list of items that I will only buy namebrand. I’m sure you have a list of your own; compare and contrast.

• Razors
• Birth control products
• Beer
• Aluminum foil
• Toothpaste
• Adoption agencies
• Financial services
• Hookers
• Politicians (the last two can probably be combined)
• Brazilian wax technicians

What’s on your list of products or services you won’t cheap out on?

Here’s an update, bulleted with a blue sky:

• The LiveSTRONG Challenge donations continue apace! A big thanks to everyone who has donated. You’ll all be getting much more personal thanks from me than just a mention on my blog, don’t worry. (The promised hugs will most definitely be forthcoming.) I’ve been training, including doing some ridiculous hills (because the route’s out in Montgomery County and promises to be fluctuous). I’m still working up my distance; the furthest I’ve ever gone is about 20 miles (the route is 45 miles), but I’m pretty confident I’ll be able to finish. For one thing, I’m riding with my homegirl Sarah and her brother, and for another, the course opens at like 8am and doesn’t close until somewhere around 4. Even my fat butt can finish a 45 mile bike ride in 8 freakin’ hours. I’ll be disappointed if it takes more then 3.5, although my pace will be dictated by whomever in our party is the slowest; I’m not leaving anybody behind. Of course, the odds are I will be the one getting left behind, which is fine with me. I ain’t holdin’ anybody up. If you’d like to donate and make my sacrifice worthwhile, use the link above and chip in some ducats, doggle.
• Oklahoma! wrapped up, I have something like 3,000 pictures from two photographers (Kate and myself) to go through and pick the cream of the crop. It may take some time, so if cast members are coming here wondering where the heck the pictures be at: patience is a virtue. I won’t even have the full set of pictures until at least the cast party on Saturday ’cause Lord knows we need documentary evidence of that freakish dance party FOR. REALS.
• Charles sings the ABC song as follows: “A B C D F G H I J K L P Q R S two Vs double X Y Z Now know ABDs next sing me!” It’s priceless.

That’s what I’ve got. Challa.

As usual, I’m about a year behind hearing about things, so I’m sure all you have seen this: Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams, a 75 minute (so block out the time, people) lecture by Professor Randy Pausch of Carnegie Mellon. At the time of the lecture, Dr. Pausch had been fighting pancreatic cancer for just over a year, and had been told about a month beforehand that tumors had turned up in his liver and other organs, giving him approximately 3-6 months. He beat that prediction by nearly a half-year, dying early this morning at 47.

I don’t want you folks to get the idea that because I’m riding in a cancer-related charity race in just 30 days that this is going to turn into a “cancer blog;” rest assured today’s subject matter is pretty much coincidence. This isn’t even really a cancer post, except that it was inspired by a cancer victim. This is a hell of a lot more self-centered: the Biannual “WTF is Matt Hearn doing with his life?” Self-Examination.

Watching that video, you sense immediately that Dr. Pausch was simply a fantastic human being. He could have done anything; it is to geeks’ benefit worldwide that he chose computer science. It occurs to me suddenly that if he’d entered medicine he might well have cured the cancer that took his life. His accomplishments, as well as his earth-shaking charisma, are due exclusively to one thing: he was absolutely fearless. There aren’t a lot of people who are going to take an opportunity to lecture and start out by doing a bunch of pushups; there aren’t a lot of people who would go into the lengthy details of their life in such a revealing way; there certainly aren’t a lot of people who would interrupt a college lecture to make everyone sing happy birthday to their spouse.

Fearlessness like that makes it possible to be supremely creative. I myself am terrified of failure, not because I worry that people are going to think less of me (although that’s certainly a factor), but because I’m worried that I’m going to waste hours/days/months/years of my life pursuing something only for it not to work out, for that time to be wasted. The end result is that I start a number of small projects, which I abandon as soon as I realize it’s going to be, OMG WTF, hard.

I can knock out a short blog post, because that’s maybe 30-60 minutes of effort and I know it’ll be well received by both of my readers (Hi, Dad!) if I bring a little of the funny. But write a novel, something I’ve been wanting to do for years? I type maybe 5-10 pages, get frustrated because it’s crappy, and quit. I’ve done this at least four times in the last 6 months.

Dr. Pausch, on the other hand, teamed with a Drama professor to develop an entire Master’s degree program that no one at any other college had even thought of. Sort of a combination of graphic design, virtual reality, animation, and a lot of computing concepts I don’t even remotely comprehend. It’s been around for several years now, and it still nothing like it is appearing at other schools, so Carnegie Mellon is simply creating their own labs for it around the world; Australia, Singapore, and others.

He also led the team that developed Alice, which is an object-oriented programming language entirely designed to teach kids how to program. Except, and this is the kicker, it doesn’t seem like programming; the kids feel like they are creating detailed computer animations. It’s a revolutionary way to teach programming, centered on Dr. Pausch’s belief that the best way to teach someone something is to make him think he’s not learning at all.

I’m sure along the way he tried some things that didn’t work. But he didn’t care, because he learned from every failure, and was simply unafraid of not succeeding. This gave him the ability to work staggeringly hard.

Also, he knew what he wanted. At the beginning of the lecture, he lists his childhood dreams, and establishes exactly what he did to try and accomplish each one of them. The only one he missed out on, at the time of the lecture? Playing in the NFL. Within a few weeks, the Pittsburgh Steelers caught wind of this and invited him to team practice. The man set out a list of tasks at a young age, and completed each one.

I still, at thirty years of age, don’t know what I want to do with my life. This is remarkably common among my friends, I find, and is unbelievably frustrating. The relentlessly negative portion of my conscious mind likes to remind me on occasion that I’m never going to amount to anything, because if I was I’d know what I want to do. Unsurprisingly, this is a bit of a damper on the creative process.

The only thing more terrifying than having a ton of talent and not knowing what to do with it? Having a ton of talent and being too scared to use it.

Great, I’m batting a thousand.

Randy, you were a great teacher, great husband, undoubtedly great father, and most of all great man by any measure. You are already missed. May we all (especially, you know, I) learn from your staggering example.

Wow, it’s been like 3 weeks and a day. That is pretty sad, for someone who prides himself on…well…I’m not sure what I pride myself on. Food consumption, I guess, and I’m also remarkably good at growing zits.

Anyway, you might be curious about what’s been going on, but probably not. The new job really has me hoppin’, and I’m loathe to do anything but, you know, actually work, because I’d like to keep my job. (At CSC getting fired would have been almost a pleasure, so I did a significant portion of my blogging from the office.) The Brandywiners show (“Oklahoma!”) has me at one rehearsal or another almost every night, and we haven’t even gone out to Longwood (the location of the outdoor theater) yet. Things are gonna get mad hectic. MAD. HEC. TIC. TAC. TOE.

That went to a weird place.

Anyway, some quicky notes:

• I love my new MacBook. (You may have read about it in an earlier post.) There’s all kinds of radness associated with it, and I finally managed to get all my favorite programs installed. Woo! Woo. If you’ve got the means (they’re roughly twice as expensive as a comparable PC), I highly recommend picking one up.
• I finally got around to starting to use Shutterfly, bringing me into approximately 2004. I’m catching up, I swear! Anyway, you can hit up matthearn.shutterfly.com to look at some recent pictures, and even download or order quality prints of ’em if you’ve of a mind to.
• While I’m in the picture-editing mode, hopefully I’ll have new pictures of Charles to put up in the next day or two. I mean, I have the pictures; hopefully they’ll be up. If you’re curious, he’s the size of a prize calf. It’s like feeding a full-grown St. Bernard, except blonder and louder.

Yeah, that’s what I got. Hopefully I’ll see you in less than 3 weeks. No promises, though.

It’s been some time, so we’re gonna break it down West Virginia-style. Show me what you got!

• I may or may not have mentioned, I got a new job! Actually, I know I didn’t mention it, because nothing was finalized until just a few weeks ago, I didn’t want to jynx anything, and then things were insanely busy for the last few weeks at CSC and then of course the first week at AIG.

  I’m not gonna say anything rude about CSC, since that seems tacky and possibly actionable at law, but I will say this: wow, what a difference. AIG is just a completely different environment. In some ways that’s great, and in some ways it’s not so great, but the aggregate result is general awesomeness.

• I’m finally going over to the dark side. Or was I already on the dark side, and now I’m going over to the light side? Hard to say, but it is certainly the whitest piece of electronic equipment I’ve ever owned. I, of course, ordered it on a Friday afternoon before a holiday, so I’ll be lucky if I have it by mid-June.
• Speaking of computational power, I got permission to buy MYSELF a new lappy by fixing my wife’s, a 2-year-old Dell Inspiron B130 that had developed the following inexplicable behaviors:
  1. Getting hotter than a melon picker’s taint in August. Seriously, if you turned it on and sat it on your bare legs, after a while you’d start to smell singed hair and be like, the hell? OW!
  2. Ridiculous slowdowns at completely random times. Work in Photoshop for 45 minutes? No problem! Attempt to open up Wordpad? Oh, that’s gonna take me a few minutes. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!
  3. Heat-related shutoffs. Basically the box would just turn itself off, and then turned it on after it cooled, you’d get this nice message saying “I turned myself off ’cause it was too hot out!” Really great.

  I did a little googlin’ and found two possible solutions to the problem:

  • Take the lappy apart and blow the dust out of it. I took it apart as far as I dared (didn’t wanna break anything) and didn’t see much in the way of dust, but I sprayed it with a can of air anyway. No effect.
  • Undervolt the CPU so that it absorbs less electricity, and thusly, less heat. Turns out this model CAN’T undervolted. Yay!

  So I was getting pretty pissed, and finally went to the Dell website to see if I could find instructions on complete disassembly of the system, and found a thing saying “if your B130 is overheating, here is how to take out the heat sink and clean the dust out of it.” What? Why didn’t Google turn this up? Google, you have led me astray!

  So I took the heat sink out, and sure enough, there was a clump of cat hair in there big enough to roll into felt and make a hat from. I got that out, blew some can o’ air in there, and put everything back together. Now there’s no heat problems at all. I’ve had this sitting on my junk for the time it’s taken me to type this out (maybe 20 minutes) and nothing’s afire! Woo!

  As an added bonus, the CPU processing power has gone from about 1GHz to 1.4GHz. I guess processors have ways of detecting when things are too hot and just slowing everything down. Ain’t a problem no more, this puppy’s whirling like a dervish.

  So in short, if your compy is too hot and it’s burning your groin, pop the heat sink out and clean it.

The end.

Dear Chase:

I hope you don’t mind me writing so often! I left some messages on what I think is your number (you wouldn’t BELIEVE what I had to do to get it), but you haven’t called. I know you’re SUPER busy, but I just wanted to hear your voice, you know?

I was so proud to hear you hit your tenth home run yesterday! You’re really having a SUPER AWESOME season. So much better than that Ryan Howard guy who made them give him all that money. Ten million dollars, and his OPS is .652? Ridiculous!

I shouldn’t tell you this, but today at lunch I wrote “Mrs. Matthew Utley” all over the cover of my notebook. It just looks so PERFECT, you know? I mean, it just DOES!!! right?

Anyway, I just wanted to say HI! Write or call back soon! Or, you know, look me up on Facebook, I would TOTALLY friend you but I can’t find you. Not sure if you’re not on there, or what. How could someone not be on Facebook? It’s like 2008 or something! Ha ha!

Love,

Me