I have zero original ideas. Pretty much if you’ve seen something on here that amused you, it’s because I stole it from someone else and passed it off as my own. This is the professional writer’s way, I’m told. Nobody’s come up with anything interesting since Nabokov inspired three generations of child molesters. I mention this because I intend to steal from Bill Simmons an idea that he occasionally uses rather than come up with ideas of his own: the mailbag! I don’t really get interesting mail that I’m comfortable sharing with any of you, so I’ll just use the comments that people leave here on these here pages.
- Kyle A responds to my hairstyle post:
Um, Kevin Mench…yes, it’s in the “water”. Right. I played baseball and soccer with him growing up and he was only slightly larger than me (’bout 6’0″ 135 at the time). I’m sure he had a 3 inch, 85 lb., and 1 hat size growth spurt in college though. Didn’t everyone? I’m not saying…I’m just saying.
Well, OBVIOUSLY. The man has no neck. He went to parochial school, but apparently the nuns weren’t beating him enough. I bet the man has balls the size of chiclets. - An anonymous response to some links from a few weeks ago:
i hereby revoke your use of wordpress.com’s popular blogs.
I’m not entirely clear on what this means; I don’t have a wordpress blog. And Sweet Baby Jesus knows, my blog ain’t popular. Am I not supposed to link to any wordpress blogs? Or can I not even read them? I need a ruling.Additionally, I hereby revoke your use of the English language until you learn to capitalize properly.
- Mike S weighs in on Robert Horry:
Horry – the dude that… isn’t. During the Houston Rockets amazing mid-90’s run, Mr. Horry was a clutc.. gutless man that mad… missed all those 3 pointers. Thank God that one of the requirements for the Rockets is you HAVE to have a 7’2″+ center. Those guys rock (read: tower). The only bad thing about him going to SA was he screwed Robinson’s chance for a ring (well, not really, but I can wish). The General friggin DESERVED a ring. If only honorary (not Horry-ary).
Here’s the thing: you don’t win 7 titles, playing reasonable minutes in most of them, by merely being lucky. Sure, Horry’s not going to be The Guy that wins the title, but he’s never been on a team that was weaker for having him there. Any failures he had in the mid-90s are more than cancelled out by the huge shots he made with the Lakers and Spurs. Never forget, though, that I have no earthly idea what I’m talking about most of the time, particularly when it comes to the NBA.The Admiral (or General, or Field Marshal, whatever you want to call him) did win a title with the Spurs in ’99, thanks to Big Timmy.
Mike goes on:
Dude, video games are the thing that keep us sane. Believe it.
For REALS, though.
That’s, um, about it. ‘Cause I don’t really get a lot of comments. ‘Cause I have, at least count, 4 readers. To make up for the fact that this post is about as funny as a myocardial infarction, I give you: bacon placemats.
BACON PLACEMATS!!!! There are 4 things I love about the concept:
1) Um, bacon. Duh.
2) The guy who posted it uses “trebuchet” as his screen name.
3) Edible placemats – the ad writes itself, “Edible chic” or “Fashion means food you can play with!”.
4) My wife tried to get me to eat vegetarian sausage last night (claims she accidentally purchased it)…so any reference to real meat products is AWESOME. (Seriously, I’m all for vegetarian tacos or whatever ’cause the meat is only like 15% of the meal and I likes tortillas, beans, and cheese…but sausage is 100% meat, so removing all of the meat leaves you with sausage that looks like what I clean out of the litter box and a more pungent taste.)