So the blogging idea for Thursday panned out pretty poorly, and my plan to get pictures posted on Friday worked out about as well. I'm sure you were all disappointed, which kinda sucks for you, but luckily I'm used to it, having disappointed my wife in every conceivable way for nearly 5 years now. So hurl your taunts and spray your wrath like me when I eat rare beef; I shall survive. My skin is thick. (It's caused by a weird virus that requires me exfoliate with a blowtorch and a rasp every weekend.)

Anyway, the goings on this weekend were extreme. Kyle's bachelor party was a great success, starting with the Phils beating the Braves 2-1 while we watched, and finishing when one by one the party-goers started passing out in pools of their own fluids on my floor. I won't go into very specific details about some of the things that happened, to spare the childish naivete of my readership, but here are a few highlights:

• Several hours of poker ended with me in the lead, but Kyle and Jeff continually biting into my massive stash of chips via beating me in close hands. At least 3 hands in a row, I called somebody's all-in with something like "two pair aces and sixes" only to be beaten by triple-sixes or something. It was very frustrating. But then we gave up on the game to eat, and also because someone may have discovered some adult video entertainment on a computer owned by some unknown personage. I certainly have no idea what it was doing in MY home. I blame Jared.
• Somehow, 12 guys managed to go through 2 cases of beer. This doesn't seem that impressive, until you realize that
  
  1. Only 10 of them were drinking
  2. They also managed to down something like 40 jello shots
  3. Nobody died
• I made a birthday cake for Brian that featured dirty words on it that would be immoral of me to post, however it is worth noting that many of them were correctly spelt.
• Someone managed to break the toilet downstairs, so we announced to the party that the downstairs bathroom was closed to all traffic. Craig was unaware of this, somehow, and decided to drop a Diesel Double Deuce in there, so I had to go in, take the top off the john, and manually lift the valve to permit Craig's stankass nastiness to go the way of all turds. Wait . . . that's not a highlight. That's a horrible, horrible lowlight. I can still smell it . . . and I just threw up in my mouth.

Thanks for the shindig go out to:

• Rece, who came over to help set up and clean and keep us fat and happy and full of tasty, tasty beers.
• Craig, for arranging for the Phillies tickets.
• The Phillies, for not losing.
• Everybody that came, for not throwing up in my guest bed.
• She-ra (HW), for setting everything up. She hath done hell of grood jorb. GROOD JORBBBBBB!

Also, I had Brandywiners auditions yesterday, and they went reasonably well, considering to be honest, the part I want has some high notes that I cannot technically hit. Also, in case you needed the reminder, I am not what one would term a strong actor. I'm about on par with Keanu Reeves, but without all the consistency. Also the part in question requires me to be in spectularly fit condition, and while I'm in better shape than I've been since high school, I do not exactly have a set of admirable abs. So we'll see what happens. I'll keep you updated.