What the hell, weatherman? It's freakin' February, and the temperature keeps getting up into the 50s? Yesterday afternoon at the grocery store I had to keep hobbling down to the frozen foods aisle and stick my torso and head in a freezer to ensure that I didn't succumb. (If you find my hat frozen to a box of Tostitos frozen pizza rolls, let me know and I'll swing by and pick it up.)

Yesterday, my truck reported an afternoon temperature of 56, and today's high is supposed to be 50! On Thursday we are told to expect snow and snow showers, but with minimal accumulation, and a high of nearly 40. What is going on? Is it global warming? SHOULD I HAVE BEEN VOTING DEMOCRAT ALL THESE YEARS?

God, I hope not.

To horrifically and drastically change the subject, I would just like to issue a thank you to the inventor of the roasting bag, and also to the fellow that realized that you could couple a roasting bag with a small packet of spices and make a killing. So far I have sampled a couple of the pork spice/roasting bag combos, and last night went with a pot roast version, to go along with the three-pound hunk of chuck roast I purchased. You just throw the meat in the bag, mix the spices with a little water, pour it atop the meat, massage it a little bit, and throw it in a 350 degree oven for about 90 minutes.

I tell you, friends and loved ones, you have not truly enjoyed life until you've pulled out of the oven a 13x9 baking dish containing a bag containing a hunk of beef and roughly 2 cups of bubbling brown spicy juices. I almost wet my pants. Moist, full of hellaflava, all around good times. I served it with broccoli, which was surprisingly none the worse-for-wear despite having served as a cooling apparatus for my injured food.

I just ate the rest of it for lunch today. So awesome, even microwaved. I am so happy right now I might weep.

So awesome.