I was never a huge fan of The Honorable Ruth Ann Minner, Governor of Delaware. I didn't agree with the ban on smoking; I thought it would have been cooler to just force places that wanted to have smoking to get licenses for it, and be stingy with the licenses. I also thought it odd that she'd focus so hard on smoking, and yet continue to allow the refineries on the Delaware River to dump out pollution like 19th century London. But you know, I hung out with her a little bit on Saturday, and she turned out to be pretty cool.

Okay, technically we didn't "hang out." It was, sadly, more like the Cathedral Choir sang at some kind of "Thank You For Electing Me Again" party she threw for her loyal supporters. It all went down at the big conference center down on the Wilmington Riverfront, the "Bank One Center" or the "Bank One Monstrosity" or something. We arrived around 2:30, as the staff was setting up the place, so as a result the security stations weren't ready, meaning that the entire Cathedral Choir could have been strapped and they'd never know it.

Once everybody was there, we grabbed our music and ran through our set, which included two pieces by John Rutter, three gospel tunes, and "Buffalo Soldier" by Bob Marley. (Just kidding. Nobody performs Rutter anymore if they can help it.) One of the pieces was "Every Time I Feel The Spirit," which features a jammin' baritone solo by yours truly.

Anyway, the party began at 4pm, but we weren't going on until 4:30, which gave us time to relax in a room in the back, and gave our audience time to get nicely tuned up themselves at the cash bar ($7.50 for a mixed drink? Is this New York? What the hirsute heck is that?). We went on, jammed out with our collective clams out (those of us that had them handy; I try to keep a few fresh bivalves in my pocket for just such an occasion), and then had to stand there for 10 or 15 minutes while the Governor thanked half of Christendom. I was hoping that the Academy Awards orchestra would start playing somewhere near by so that she would WRAP. IT. UP.

After she was done, we filed off the risers and had the opportunity to shake hands with our head of state and her lackey, the Lieutenant Governor. The Governor took my hand and said, with great awe, "What a voice!"

I replied, "Yo, that's how I roll, baby girl. Tell your friends." Or rather, that's how I would have replied if my damnable conscience hadn't gotten the better of me; what I actually said was, "Thank you!" and then moved along to where I could gather my coat and get to a bar to watch the football games.

The lesson here is that flattery will get you EVERYWHERE. Because flattery is awesome. I'm so easy.

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Strapped: Carrying a "strap," or pistol. Sometimes also used in reference to other weapons:

She chased me out of class she was strapped with a ruler
Went to the bathroom - rolled myself a wooler
With bottle in hand at the microphone stand
A. yo homeboy - what you drinkin' man
©1986 MC A, Mike D., and His Majesty the King Adrock.