So I've been sick for the last few days, staying home from work, alternating between shivering under 4 or 5 blankets and stripping to my sweaty skin to take cold showers and ease the hallucinations. Normally, not going to work would mean "good times," but unfortunately the aches, pains, and feverish delirium have negated not having to do work. Additionally, the modern technological age means I can still get voicemails and emails, and periodically R2D2 comes into the room to project a hologram of my boss giving me the evil eye. So all in all, I'd have to say the past few days have sucked like a Bissell.

And don't get me started on the explosive diahrrea. Oops . . . uh, be right back.

[15 minutes later]

Okay, sorry, had to um, I had coffee brewing. That's it, that's the ticket, coffee! Or tea. I don't remember.

Shut up.

Anyway, I've managed to catch up on most of my DVR viewing, and I really hope that HW already watched last night's "Scrubs," because I accidentally deleted it after watching it today. If she hasn't watched it, I should probably get out of town. Anyway, all the saved up episodes of "Family Guy," "The Daily Show," "The Simpsons," are watched and deleted, which clears out some space on the hard drive for tonight's episode of "Drawn Together."

Plus, I was able to watch one of my favorite all-time films, Miller's Crossing, featuring Marcia Gay Harden in her only hot role. (She's reasonably pretty, but she looks like she wears dentures and she has lips like The Joker. Look, I'm not being mean, I'm just saying, have you ever seen her and Jack in a room together? Or a Lakers game?) Lots of good gore and violence, plus a plot that's harder to follow than a fleet-footed Chinese intelligence officer in Shanghai. (I'm clearly too sick to come up with worthwhile analogies over here. Give me a break.)

Best of all, I've been able to catch up on sleep, in between replying to emails and listening to voicemail messages from people who may or may not ever get a call back from me, depending on how much I hate them. (I usually hate them a lot.)

Tomorrow: Christmassy pixtures! Yay for CHRIMMAS!