No apologies this time. I've been unable to write due to severe writer's block, and I refuse to apologize for something that is not my fault. I don't really have anything good for today either. So what you're going to get is a rambling, meandering column, and while this may prove difficult to read, it probably will not be funny, either.

No, I'm not drunk. It's only 1pm! And it's a Monday! Okay, that doesn't really mean anything, but nevertheless, I'm sober.

I figured I could probably discuss the Olympics, and really catch the crest of that wave, but then all the American athletes headed back to the states to be on the MTV Video Music Awards. So there's not really a human interest story left, particularly since people from other countries are rarely humans, and are definitely not interesting. GAIJIN!

My weekend was festive; we went to the Stone Balloon on Thursday night, with all the attendant revelry and offensive touching. Depressingly, I didn't get hit on by anybody, despite my new svelte form. I can definitely see how people become anorexic. Must constantly get ego boosts from friends and coworkers!

Friday night we had the Ychromes fantasy football draft, which featured a few highlights:

• Fitzy and Rece consistently trying to pick players who had already been drafted.
• Jared drafting over the phone from a Richmond hotel room (he was filming this weekend) and putting his cousin on the phone just as Courtney handed the phone to me, such that I got very confused as to when Jared's voice dropped an octave.
• Aaron pestering me to show him what picks he had already made until I yelled "EASE UP OFFS MY GRILL!" at him, followed by merely shouting "GRILL!" every time he bugged me, much to the amusement of Ungaskfajslssky.

Saturday I watched TV, as there was a college football game on. I nearly wet my pants. I have missed football so much. Also, Dale Earnhardt Jr. won at Bristol, and I'm pretty sure I did wet my pants there. Yes, it was a soggy weekend at HearndomII! Luckily, the fried chicken we ate was hell of crispy.

Sunday consisted of rehearsal for a play I'm in, which I haven't mentioned before because I've been too busy rehearsing for a play I'm in. It's called "Living Together," and it's part of a trilogy of plays collectively entitled "The Norman Conquests." I play Norman, and I get all the chicks. <QUAGMIRE>Aw right!</QUAGMIRE>

The show opens 9/17 and runs for three weekends, with two Sunday matinee shows. Come one, come all! I'll try not to suck.