A rambling column this week! Try to follow along. Each item is related to the other in a small way, and you have to figure out how!

• So my coworker just sent me pictures of the inside of his knee. Pre- and post-surgery, specifically. I guess it was kind of neat and all, but my mouth still tastes like stomach acid and bacon. I can't really say I'm a fan.
• We started rehearsals for Brigadoon on Tuesday. The director seems really really cool, except that he keeps expecting me to actually ACT. I don't know about all that. First of all, I haven't acted in 8 years. And I was never really all that good. So we'll see what happens. Maybe I have to find myself or my soul or something, which I guess would be nice, but I'm terrified of finding out I'm really a lesbian axe-wielding psycho murdering woman trapped inside the body of a mid-20s hardbody. Ya know?
• I worked another all night outage last week, and started to keep a blow by blow diary of my mental state, but I actually managed to remain pretty sane all night. So it turned out pretty boring. I think I'm finally growing up! I better do something crazy soon or I'll have to buy a minivan.
• How about that Randy Johnson? He throws rather, um, hard. As Rick put it, that was some serious "ched." Get it? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, Randy Johnson is to batters what Snoop Dogg is to blunts. (He smokes them. Get it? Yeah, me neither.)
• Saturday night is my performance at Knappuccinos, and I'm both incredibly stoked and absolutely terrified. I suspect I should actually practice my songs so I'm not an embarrassment to my family. Oh well. Show starts at 7. If I screw up, I'll be wanting to get hammered afterwards at Timothy's. You're buying.
• As a shining example of the kind of friends I keep around, here is the entirety of a conversation I had today over AOL Instant Messenger with the aforementioned Rick:

  matthearndotcom: wiznord
  matthearndotcom: So how's the new place?
  RGShanley11: Im on my cell at the detroit airport
  matthearndotcom: uh...why?
  RGShanley11: Because im bored
  matthearndotcom: why are you at the airport?
  RGShanley11: Because i needed to buy a new car
  matthearndotcom: 1) Why do you need to buy a new car? 2) Why did you go to the airport to do it?
  RGShanley11: Sigh im flying to virginia
  matthearndotcom: I am beyond confused at this point.

  What in the honeybaked hell (alliterative turn of phrase copyright Jeff Kay, who has pissed off some Polka lovers this week)was he talking about? Please help me. My brain hurts.

• Okay, I got nothing today. My bad. I point you over to Milo, who's been leading a FAR more interesting life recently.