Wednesday is Zoo day! We went to the Atlanta Zoo and had us a righteous time antagonizing the animals, at least until the elephant picked me up with her trunk and flung me into the tiger den. They were able to reattach my foot, and they say I'll eventually get 50-60% use of it again, although I got an infection and they had to amputate my left buttock.

Hobbes stretches out for a nap; awakes to feast on the flesh of his human masters

We saw many critters, and took pictures of same, including some truly sweet ones of the pandas (I got a pic of the female from about 6" away, it's totally hot); I'm adding them to the total "Road Trip Gallery" that I plan to put up when I get back next week.

After that, around 1pm, we headed north. We got about an hour north when I saw the signs: Iron Skillet . . . 20 oz. T-bone . . . 9.99. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So we stopped. Here's the down-low: if you are ever in the mood for a steak, you need to drive to Carnesville, GA, to the Petro truckstop there, and get the 9.99 20oz t-bone, dude. It was the best steak I've had in months, and that includes multiple trips to Lone Star, who wouldn't know a decent cut of meat if leapt onto their face while they were sleeping. Tender...juicy...so delicious. I'm nearly weeping.

Then we continued north, stopping at the outlet mall in Gaffney, where my frustrations at being able to find pants had steam coming out off my ass. (Although that also might have been the 20 oz. t-bone reacting badly with my colon, as sometimes happens.) Sarah found a few things, and we went into the Levi's store thinking they've GOTTA have a pair of jeans that fit me!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Their jeans went up to 38x34, and 40x32. No 40x34 to be found, at least in the 505 section, which is the style I like. I did see a decent jean jacket (they're back in style...who knew!), but it was $50, and I just couldn't justify it. And then....Haggar.

Oh, Haggar...how do I love thee? Let me count the ways: 1, 2, 3 . . . $108.64 ways, to be exact. For that fairly minimal amount of cash, I got a polo shirt, 2 pairs of flat-front khakis, and a totally money sport coat. I was almost giggling with joy at finding clothes that fit. I haven't felt like that since I was in prison in Hungary a few years back! (There was this girl, and a llama...nevermind.)

We got to Charlotte and found a hotel, went to a bar and had crablegs, and passed out around midnight. (Luckily Milo's not with us, since there was a girl at the bar that he would have simply clubbed over the head with a barstool and dragged out by her hair.) Plan for Thursday: hit up Kannapolis for a Dale Earnhardt memorial, go to JR and buy brassieres and chandeliers (remind me to tell you later), get into Richmond sometime in the early evening, and commence drinking heavily with Kyrone and Kritdy. Update tomorrow!